Overall Comments
Dear Jennifer
Thank you for sending me your second assignment. It is good to see a
submission which has socio-political underpinning with regards to public
transport, government cuts, who uses the buses and why, also how the cuts have
affected them. Your use of moving image is a good idea and there are more opportunities
to progress further with this, especially with regards to editing.
The print size and quality is good overall and you have achieved some
lovely muted colours in your work – the pastel shades work well. Some of your
work can be a little too busy with many distracting features.
Assessment potential
I understand your aim is to go for the Photography
Degree and that you plan to submit your work for assessment at the end of this
course. From the work you have shown in this assignment, providing you commit
yourself to the course, I believe you have the potential to pass at
assessment. In order to meet all the
assessment criteria, there are certain areas you will need to focus on, which I
will outline in my feedback.
Feedback on assignment
Demonstration of technical and Visual Skills, Quality of
Outcome, Demonstration of Creativity
Image 1 –
I note you have done some post-production on this
image to make it look like the cyclist was in front of the bus. I am not
entirely convinced as to why you did this – it detracts from the bus, but then
the theme is about buses not cyclists. It doesn’t look like the bus is
shadowing the cyclist, because there is no-one in the drivers’ seat! Going to
your research by Martin Parr, he does recommend that you photograph things
which have inbuilt obsolescence, therefore the bus will eventually becoming
interesting, but it may not be for another thirty years!
Image 2 –
This is a well composed image. I would have removed
the car post-production as it is a little distracting. The bus stop is in a
good position and the scenery in the background has a nice misty feel about it.
This could have been a good opportunity to use a slow shutter speed to give the
bus a sense of movement.
Image 3 -
This is a quirky image and shows people who make
friends on the bus. I would ideally like this image to have been a photograph
of the three people you interviewed (small point) just for the purpose of
synergy although I appreciate this is the same bus stop. This is quite a busy
image with lots of distracting colours. Did you see what any of your images
looked like in black and white? As you referenced James Ravillious, this may
have been a more appropriate route to go down for some of your work.
Images 4 & 5 -
Try to avoid sending in two images which are similar
to each other as you need to show the assessors that you have discernment over
which is the strongest image. I like the fact that you have captured the bus
driver in his mirror. Equally, I felt that the image you rejected (No 71
Interaction) was a stronger image, because one lady had her hand on the back of
the chair opposite her, whilst speaking to the passenger, so I felt there was
more of a connection there, especially with regards to what you had researched.
Image 6 –
This is an image with great potential and perhaps
could have been explored further. You have included quite a lot in the image,
so it is difficult to find a focus on one particular person or couple. The
Co-Op sign is very distracting and the shop next door is unnecessary. Not sure
it is essential to have the bus stop sign on the road. It could be worth a more
close cropping of the image, as the most interesting aspect is what people do
whilst waiting for the bus, whether it is sitting on your boyfriend’s lap or
fumbling around in your bag. You needed to get closer to this queue (or have a
longer lens) as the quality is not really there at the distance you have taken
it.
Image 7 –
This is a great image as the lady really looks out
of context in all her finery waiting for the bus (perhaps to go to a wedding or
the races?). It is also unusual that someone should be working on a laptop, so
the image asks a lot of questions which is good. I would have removed the
distracting for sale sign on the right hand side.
Image 8 –
I can see
what you tried to achieve with this shot, but it hasn’t entirely paid off. I
think it needed a little more interaction from one of the passengers, perhaps
looking behind them towards the girl in the advert.
Image 9 –
Brilliant! This is your strongest image and well
captured in-camera, too! Very Martin Parr. I also like the reference to
advertising you have researched.
Image 10 –
Quite a picturesque image, but I am not sure it
really says much about the bus service in general. It is more like a commercial
shot I would expect to see in a magazine or on a bus leaflet.
Coursework
Demonstration of technical and Visual Skills, Demonstration of
Creativity
You have produced some videos which are a good idea
and really brings the people to life. I am not sure why you have edited the
interview of the people at the bus stop into three separate sections? One video
would suffice. I think you needed to get a good balance of interviews as the
husband seems to do all the talking over his wife! It may have been a better
option to interview lots of different people and stitch highlights together.
The interview with people at the hospital is also interesting although they do
tend to go off track a lot. Try not to have too much of yourself in the video,
either asking too many questions or loudly announcing you are filming them! It
comes across as too distracting and a little biased at times (you seem to be
pushing them to say the lack of a Sunday service is a problem). Some images of
the buses could also have been interspersed throughout the commentary if you
really wanted to explore video further. The sound quality is problematic at
times (due to the wind).
Research
Context, reflective thinking, critical thinking, analysis
You have collected images labeled ‘Google Examples’
but this is not really advised. Although it can be a good starting point, at
this level you need to be more specific with regards to which photographers you
have researched and why. You have also included some collections by Martin Parr
and David Lachapelle. There is a selection of images with no name and then a
collection of your street images. Ideally, I would recommend identifying a
handful of images and critically analyzing each one of them. You could also compare
and contrast two photographers’ work. You need to justify that you understand
what it is about each photographer that identifies their own style, for example
you may comment on the bright colours of LaChapelle’s work, compared to the
humour of Parr’s work.
Learning Log
Context, reflective thinking, critical thinking, analysis
You have reflected well on your own strengths and
areas for improvement. You have also explored with decisive moments,
pre-planning of buses / passengers and also some post-production so there is a
good range and variety to work with. Sometimes you tend to be a little too
literal – do I really need to know the name of the bus route or if an actual
bus stop was situated in a particular place? It can be more important to experiment
rather than be overly descriptive of the situation (although I appreciate you
may have been looking at this from an ethical photo-journalist angle!).
Suggested reading/viewing
Context
I recommend you get access to the British Journal of
Photography (there is an on-line version of the magazine) as it will highlight more
contemporary ways of interpretation of photography which you need to be aware
of.
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